I'm currently moving so quickly into the future that I wonder when I'll trip up. I'm continually thinking about my past, trying to fix wounds and find resolution. I'm combating feelings I never thought I would encounter and kicking myself for the stupidity of my heart. Do feelings ever die? or are they layers in the world I will walk on for the rest of my life? it seems to me that when I want to plant a seed I don't have to dig very far before I see layers of things I miss. Seeds i had planted that never came to fruition. There are some places I go where nothing grows at all.

I'm young. I wonder. I fuck up. I'm stubborn. I don't forgive people just as much as some don't forgive me, but I fight and try. I hope. I just wonder when I'll find that something deep and dark inside myself that we all hide. How much of my sense of self will have to be rebuilt afterwards? More importantly, will I ever find it?

A.